Uhh … The Quad?

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The Pulse of Vegas blog is reporting that Imperial Palace will be rebranded as “The Quad” as part of the whole LINQ/High Roller center strip construction project. And since Pulse of Vegas is the official blog of Caesars Entertainment, I’m going to go ahead and say this is pretty reliable info. (Tip of a chip to vegaschatter.com.)

You know how I can tell that Pulse of Vegas is the official corporate blog of Caesars?

In a much-anticipated announcement, Caesars Entertainment (whose blog this is) has confirmed the popular, mid-Strip resort, the Imperial Palace, will soon be rebranded as “The Quad Resort and Casino.”

Ignoring their admirable transparency (which I bolded for emphasis), there are a couple of adjectives in there that no one would ever use to describe either IP or this announcement.

But anyways … The Quad, eh?

More from Pulse of Vegas:

“Basically, the concept of a “quad” brings to mind good times for many. A quad is a gathering place, a place to meet and make new friends.”

To me it brings to mind hacky sack and frisbees and college students who have no money to gamble with. Don’t get me wrong, I loved tossing the football around on the quad (we called it “the mall”) as much as anyone, but I would never associate that with gambling or having money. Then again, I wouldn’t necessarily associate the Imperial Palace casino with having money, either.

But more importantly, you know you have a problem when the artist’s rendering looks like shit:

Quad Exterior rendering

I can tell by the pixels…
(Image from Vegas Chatter, which says it is from Pulse of Vegas. To be fair, I can’t find it anywhere on PoV.)

Oh my, pig, what fancy lipstick you have there.

I really do hope the Linq/High Roller/Quad project goes well, but Caesars makes itself a hard company to root for sometimes, doesn’t it?

This is what happens when you’re due for a win that never comes

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I strongly dislike slot parlors.

To be fair, I’ve never actually been to one. But I don’t like the idea that we’re moving closer and closer to a society where states offer gambling as a recreational activity that’s as readily available as bowling and miniature golf. I’m not sure everyone in the United States needs to live within a 30-mile radius of a casino.

But still, I have to admit that every now and again I’m tempted to take the subway over to Queens and hit up Resorts World, the somewhat new slot parlor near JFK airport that’s owned by Malaysian conglomerate Genting Group.

But then I read about it, and I’m reminded that slot parlors are terrible places.

Need proof? The New York Times reported that, in the first nine months of the racino’s existence, 41 people were arrested for getting pissed off and going all “HULK SMASH” on stingy slot machines.

That’s more than one per week!

The best part of the article is the quote from a Brooklyn man who was sentenced to 90 days in jail for duking it out with a one-armed bandit:

“I lost $300 without a bonus, so yes, I broke the machine. … And I’d do it again.”

After publishing the article, The Times then offered up an assignment to youngsters to “Draw the News,” I’m guessing in an effort to prove that you don’t learn anything in journalism school that you haven’t learned by the time you’re 6 years old.

The results are amazing. Be sure to read the descriptions.

Oh Page-a-Day calendar, you know me so well

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Takes Money to Make Money

Or, as the gentleman who sat next to me amongst the Jacks or Better machines at Bally’s Atlantic City put it: “Takes money to make money. Scared money don’t make no money.”

Sage-like advice.